HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
me + whiskey = a bad person
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
