We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
...so i touched it.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
