who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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