dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize