nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
