Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
