So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
