Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
