The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
