I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
