This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
