If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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