He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
it glows. i had to have it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
