i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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