he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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