we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
you had me at cake vodka
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
