I must be too annoying 4 u.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize