Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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