You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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