did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
