watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
