I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize