I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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