they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
