I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
