You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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