We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize