remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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