I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize