Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
A+ Viking dick
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