Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
