to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Holy sore nipples Batman
I got inside last night via doggy door
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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