I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize