I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
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we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
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I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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