then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize