Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize