Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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