she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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