At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
