You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
