i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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