Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my computer doesn't work...
i puked on it last night
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
is wine microwaveable?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..