saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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