she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Be still, my beating vagina.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
