planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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