and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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