I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
