Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize