Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
