At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
