my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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