Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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