brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
