Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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