Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
