There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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