Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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