the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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