We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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