you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
