Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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