Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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