Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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