i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
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Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
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I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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