you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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