i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
