its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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