drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
