Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
